What If?
January 23, 2012 
3 Comments
I am familiar with a situation wherein a young female college student became pregnant out of wedlock. This young Christian and her parents experienced a range of emotions unlike any others in their lifetime. It has now been more than twenty years since those circumstances and, in retrospect there are some things to be learned. I have not used personal names for obvious reasons but can assure you the story is true.
The father of the yet to be born child proved by his actions (and in-actions) to be irresponsible and not a viable candidate for participation in the decision-making process. He was a baptized person who knew little about being a Christian. Thus the discussions relative to so many things fell on the mom-to-be and her parents. The whole gamut of possible actions was discussed. Advice was sought and received from friends in whom the perspective mom and her parents had confidence. Unsolicited sources from the worldly abounded each with their own “fix-it” program.
After all the thought, prayers and careful consideration a decision was made to make the child available for adoption. A brother-in-Christ who has experience in such things was contacted for guidance. The only stipulation from the mom was that the parents be faithful Christians. It wasn’t too long before the prospective parents were found and all the arrangements (and there were many) were made. The baby was given to the new parents at the hospital midst many tears, doubts and hopes.
Life, as it often does, went on. The family who adopted the child raised their daughter as faithful Christian parents do. The birth-mom recovered, repented and, with God’s help, went on living a life that would include a husband and children. All concerned with the situation were, and are, faithful to the Lord.
These kinds of experiences leave questions in the minds of the major players. The adopted child wonders about her birth mother and wants information. There is a void. The birth mom wonders about her child and wants information. There is a void. The grand parents wonder about their grandchild and want information. There is a void. Sons and daughters of the birth mom want to know about their sister. There is a void. All this and more are consequences of things done before. Some are consequences felt by the direct participants, some by those who came along later.
Many times when major decisions are made like described above one does not have opportunity to validate. The questions go with us to the grave. The letter below is important to those who wonder if the right decision was made. It is a letter from the adopted girl to the birth mom.
“.. there are so many more emotions that are coursing through my heart than what I expected if I ever found you. I’m thrilled you wanted to find me, because I was afraid if I did find you, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me, and I wasn’t sure if I could deal with that. So, yeah, you and I both get the answers we’ve been looking for. (mom’s name) I want to be upfront that I have a family and mom and dad that love me and I’m not looking for another family. However, I have a thousand questions and will be happy to answer yours. Beyond that we’ll just have to take it as it comes, but I repeat I’m not looking for another mother. My mom is a wonderful woman, as I’m sure you are, and there is no replacement for her. With that said, “Hi!” I sit here with a smile on my face not sure where to begin … I was told why you gave me up, and I am so thankful you did. I have been so blessed with the life I have here. Thank you for making sure my parents were Christians. My faith is what makes me who I am.
I guess I’ll leave it at that for now. I’m just so curious. Again thank you so much, you have given me more than I could ask for. My life is so blessed … I’m so blessed to be born to someone so selfless as to give me such a good family.”
As I read the letter, I have to ask one question: What if… abortion had been the choice?
Author: by Ken Leach via Biblical Insights, Vol. 9, No. 11, November 2009
Source: http://lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVarticles/WhatIf.html
Article licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States, by the La Vista Church of Christ.
May I be the first to comment on this “story” of sacrificial love of a different kind.
As I was reading along I was wondering the same question as is posted here. “What IF” abortion-(though it does pain me to call it that, because to me it’s murder. Period.)-had been the choice she/they made?
I know that all involved in this story are so happy that it wasn’t. With all the outcry for more and more availability to be able to have sex w/out repercussions”, even to the “morning after pill”, the girls and women who opt for this “choice”-I don’t care what some say-cannot possibly go on as if that little life had never existed in their wombs.
They may bury it deep with their subconscious – but in the recesses of their minds must be some type of recall.
The memory of a life lost- a love unknown and unshared just because instead of saying “no” to sex outside of marriage as God commands His creation…instead of saying “no’ to deliberate premeditated murder – they opted for the ‘easy” way out…I can’t help but think that way wasn’t, in the end, so easy for her/them after all.
Somehow…in someway..at some unexpected moment in time they all must have a sense of regret- even if it only comes in their restless dreams. For surely if they chose the alternative to the choice this Christin family made.. it has to be with some sense of sorrow that later in life, should they choose to get married and have a family? Don’t cha think that female would have to wonder, as she looked into the face of that little one she holds in her arms by saying yes…
WHAT IF…I had kept that baby…or gave it up for adoption so that it could LIVE.
Instead of …I can’t say the words…you know what they do to them. I despise Planned Parenthood and all they stand for. The altar of corporate greed bathed in innocent blood. It just saddens me greatly to think how many babies are being tossed out like yesterdays trash – when there was an alternative all along.
I’m sure there are extenuating circumstances in some instances..I am no one’s judge..that is Jesus’s job..we, thank the Lord, serve a loving and forgiving Savior.
I hope this made sense ..without too many grammatical errors in it!
God bless! Thank you for sharing this story of selfless love, little babies and Christ Jesus in the lives of His children.
Susan–thanks for sharing your thoughts! It’s great to see passionate pro-lifers like you stand up for what’s right.
Thank you. If it’s a subject that I know that God is against – or for, like Israel? I am very passionate.
I can’t help but be ya know? When I pray often it is my prayer to ask Him to help me to love like He does, and love the things He does – and hate the things that He hates.
I just love Jesus so much!