Here Comes The Bride

As a single woman quickly approaching 40, it is easy to become dismayed by the gloomy statistics which indicate that marriage over 40 is near impossible. One controversial article in a 1986 issue of Newsweek touted that it was far more probable for a woman over 40 to be killed in a terrorist attack than ever get married (The Early Show, CBS News, May 31, 2006).  While some recent statistics now show that the odds have increased to 40% in our favor, there is still a sense of dread that you may fall in the 60% that will be doomed to living a single life.

After my divorce in 2007, I found myself consumed with this matter.  There were times that I allowed this day dream of finding and building a life with ‘Mr. Right’ to consume me.  It dominated my thoughts and in many ways made me overly anxious.  For the first time in my life, I was hearing the tick tock of the clock, clamoring in my head – not the biological clock, but the matrimony clock.  It took a convicting sermon that I heard to snap me out of this funk. I was so caught up with what I did not have that I completely overlooked what I did have.  I already had Mr. Right! He was there all along; loving me with an unconditional and absolute love and yearning to fill that void in my life, if I would just let Him.

Now I’m sure some of you may be thinking “Come on Kaleb, it is true that Jesus can be many things, but what about the physical love that as women, we also desire?” True, but we must take comfort in the fact that our Lord can fulfill these longings as well.  He is eager to meet our needs and wants but in order of us to receive His best, we must be trusting and willing to wait on Him.   As our Creator, Jesus knows the desires of our hearts – He put them there for a reason! We should surrender these desires to Him, trust Him to fulfill them in His own time and in His own way. Our desires can become idols if we obsess over them and allow them to control our thoughts instead of using that time to delight in Him and spend quality time with Him.  We tend to hold onto these desires tightly with a fear that if we let them go, we may never ever have them.  It is only in giving them to Him that we can truly allow Jesus to work freely in our lives to bring them to pass.  One of God’s promises that reassures me, is noted in Psalm 37.

Psalm 37: 4-5: Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will bring it to pass.

While my desires still remain, Jesus filled that void in my life on July 1^st, 2007 when I put my dreams at His feet.  I know that He is working and will fulfill my desire for a spouse of His choosing and in His good timing.  Furthermore, I know that His best for me will be fulfilled.  I must admit that it is difficult to sign over a blank check for your life to the Lord because you never know what He may fill in.  I do take comfort that He has loved me like no other has – He is the only man that has sacrificed His life for mine and in spite of what I have done or may do, His love knows no boundaries and He will never leave me nor forsake me.  In the meantime He has used me, in my singleness, to be a witness to others.  I can’t tell you how many times I have received questions from men and women alike, that ask “Don’t you get lonely? Don’t you want to get married? How do you do it?” These questions open doors to share my faith and to share Jesus’ amazing love.

Hebrews 10:23: Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.

For those of you who are single, please share how God is working in your singleness to accomplish His will. Please submit your comments in the comment box below.

Source
Marriage after 40? Not Impossible, Daniel Schorn, The Early Show, CBS News, May 31, 2006