He’s Waiting to Forgive You

We’re at War! – Part 4

Every time I sin, especially when it is a sin that I keep repeating, I am overcome by a strong sense of guilt. I beat myself up for not having the strength to make the right choice and for once again, finding myself in the arms of failure.  Like a guilt ridden, shameful child trying to escape the glare of a disappointed parent, I avoid my Heavenly Father. I fool myself into thinking that if I avoid His presence, I avoid facing Him again…in failure.  The truth is He knows all; He knows what I already did and when I will do it again.  Yet, He waits for me to come to Him, but I don’t– because I am too ashamed.

The devil has me right where he wants me — in the claws of condemnation where bondage lurks dangling his chains of imprisonment.  I cower in that cold debilitating prison where just outside waiting with open arms is my Father, filled with love and forgiveness that know no boundaries.  I can be free – all I need to do is go to Him and ask His forgiveness. A simple but daunting step, so I don’t. I sentence myself to stay in that prison of unforgiveness.  How can He forgive me? Why should He forgive me?  I am a repeat offender and frankly, it is a mockery that I find myself here once again.

Psalm 32:3: When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

King David knows my situation all too well.  He withered away in unforgiveness after his adulterous affair with Bathsheba.  But like any caring parent, God remained tied to him, tugging on his heart as he struggled to pull away in disgrace.

Psalm 32:4: For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

I recall the many times that my own son failed me and the limits it brought me to as a mother.  Yet in spite of my waning patience, I forgive him when he comes to me….over and over again.  Even with a great capacity to love, the love that I have for my child still pales in comparison to the love that my Heavenly Father has for me. This realization of His unbounded love and mercy releases me and gives me the strength to face Him…once again.

Psalm 32:5: Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD “— and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

I am unburdened now and all is well with my soul.  As I bask in the peace of His restored fellowship, I look back at that dark hole I crawled out of, wondering what took me so long. It is a new day filled with new mercies and new opportunities to make the right choices. I am free; I am forgiven. I am filled with a peace that is rooted in His never-ending love for me.

Psalm 32:1-2:  Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

He’s Waiting to Forgive You, What Are You Waiting for?

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Author: Kaleb I am a divorced, single working mother with a love for music and writing. To browse my writings is to peek through the window to my soul and to the heart of what really matters in my life. I am candid, honest and open especially for the edification and encouragement of others, follow me on Twitter.